Supportive family environment for my weight loss and road to better health? Check
Vehicle to get to job, everyday? Check
Good Health? Eh…
I have asthma. Asthma sucks.
In fact, fuck you asthma. I had an amazing day at the gym yesterday. Although my asthma was bothering me, I felt better after my workout. Hours later, you return; my chest is congested and I can’t even sit fucking still for five fucking minutes without a wheezy rasp.
Really? What the flying fuck have I ever done to you, lungs? Here I am trying to make you stronger and you’re betraying me. I don’t smoke (anything) or even burn a candle near you, and this…THIS is how you say thanks?
I’m getting real sick of your shit, asthma.
Okay, Now to Something a Bit More “Stable”
I went to the doctor today because my asthma/sickness from last month DID NOT go away. I received two shots in my lower back. Ouch. One was a “super” antibiotic and the other was a super-strong steroid. I definitely feel the steroids. They’ll be out of my system in a few days, though; the worst is over in the first 24 hours.
So, for the month of October, I totally botched my goals. This is unacceptable and I have to implement some changes.
By botched, I mean when I was weighed in this past Thursday, I am back up to 301. Seriously, Allie? Seriously?
My mother and I talked about the big issue of having a plethora of leftovers after my party and how even during celebrations, our portion control needs to change.
I have an idea on how to help myself in regards to eating. It’s weird, but I think it’ll help me.
I live with my family (two of which do not watch their weight) and we have a variety of foods and such.
In the refrigerator, I often overlook all the healthy options and forget what I bought. I just think in terms “I MUST EAT NOW” and such.
So, I want to have a list of what I have that I can eat. It sounds tedious, but it really seems like it’ll help me.
I also keep my 12 Step Over-eaters Anonymous book with me, along with my journal, wherever I go. Like I said, my lack of discipline is really frightening me. My Mom is here to help, but ultimately, it’s up to me. Now that I work (again, I start on the 18th) I can finally have a chance to buy food that I like as well as feel better about myself. Not working has really took its toll on me.
I’m off to my boyfriend’s house. It’s his birthday on the 14th, but he’s having his party tomorrow. I vowed to not overload myself on junk food. I’m bringing my own food as well as my healthy snacks. I told him that I’m eating what I have and if he wants to go out, we’re going to a place where I can at least get a damn salad that’s half-way decent.